October 29, 2019 – It started out like every other work day. I arrived early, reviewed emails and proceeded with printing my exec’s calendar for the day. I noticed that he had a breakfast appointment scheduled and would be in a little later than usual. He also had an appointment with HR. There weren’t any notes but I assumed it was about the coordinator he was trying to hire.
I had been working in my job for 8 months. The routine was the same every morning. See what had changed over night, move things around to accommodate the changes, print what was needed for the day and insert everything into a pocketed folder. Rinse and repeat. As my exec would finish each task or meeting, he would put a check mark on the top of the page. Sometimes there would be additional notes. At the end of each day, he would place the folder in the out tray. Rinse and Repeat. Sometimes my exec had so many appointments that we used two folders.
We had ½ hour scheduled each morning for a check in. That’s when we’d review the day and discuss if he had everything he needed. We’d also review upcoming projects. I’d let him know what I was working on. Lately, the check in meetings were getting shorter and shorter. Some days we didn’t have one. There was no time. As we had less and less time, I began to feel like any conversation was an encroachment on that time. Time was such a precious commodity for my exec – why bother him with anything that he doesn’t need to do his job?
It had been just over a week since we had the “You’re not her” conversation. He was knee deep in meetings and there were a few big deadlines approaching. Next year’s budget was being prepared and we were beginning the cycle for the next round of board and committee meetings. Plus he had to deliver the annual report. He had promised to deliver it in September. However, that hadn’t happened. And, on top of that, our office was moving. My exec was spending a lot of time purging and getting rid of a lot of paper. That really mean that he would sort through stuff, I would come into the office in the morning and find a pile of folders or binders on my chair with a note that said ‘shred’ because he couldn’t walk 10 feet to the shred bins.
This morning, he rushed into the office, put a sign on the door that said not to interrupt because he was on a call, and closed the door. Not a word was spoken. I checked his calendar and didn’t see a call scheduled. However that wasn’t unusual. There was always something coming up. I kept watching the clock. He was in back-to-back meetings. The door opened and he walked past me to the coffee station. He poured himself a cup of coffee and then headed to his first meeting. I still hadn’t given him his schedule and folder.
I started getting emails from him – asking me to print additional documents for upcoming meetings. One of the documents was over 100 pages. I had completed everything and was waiting for him to come back before his next meeting.
I kept an eye on the clock. I was forever chasing him around – reminding him that he needed to go to his next meeting. My phone rang. It was my exec and he wanted me to join him in a meeting room. I realized that it was the meeting he had scheduled with HR. This was not going to be good. The only time you get called to a meeting like this is if you’re being shown the door. I hesitated. I thought about taking my phone, coat and bag with me. Then I thought that maybe this was just a warning conversation. So I left everything.
I tried to steady my breathing as I approached the meeting room. I rounded the corner and stood in the doorway. There was my exec and the HR coordinator sitting on one side of the table. In front of the coordinator was an envelope. This was not going to be a warning conversation.
I stood there and looked at my exec. I told him he could leave. I didn’t really need to hear the speech. He said, “You know why you’re here.” He got up and shut the door. He said that he had something to say and would be reading it to ensure that he didn’t make any mistakes. He read the three sentences that nobody likes to hear. I looked at the sheet of paper and saw that there were about 20 bullets. I’ll never know what those bullets were. In my lower moments, I think they were the laundry list of things I had done wrong. I try not to think about it too much.
After he said his three sentences, he stood up to leave. I didn’t say anything. What could I say? We were past the point where I could explain anything. There’s no opportunity to plead and make a case to stay. And, if I were to be honest, I knew the day was coming. I had hoped that I would have found a job first and could tell him I was leaving. Unfortunately he beat me to it.
The HR coordinator handed me a letter. She asked me to take it home, read it and consult a lawyer. She asked if I had any questions. She said she’d go upstairs and get my coat, phone, and bag. She asked me if I wanted to have my other belongings sent to me. I asked if I could come back after hours and pack it up myself. She said it wouldn’t be a problem. I offered to sign the letter. She asked me to wait and consult a lawyer. I looked at her and said, “I just got fired. I don’t have money for a lawyer.”
She said that there was somebody from a transition agency to talk if I needed it. The person walked in and sat down. The coordinator left. I asked the person for a pen and signed the letter. Then I put it in front of her and asked her to witness it. She said, “How you behave will impact the kind of reference you get.” I’m not sure why she said that. I wasn’t throwing anything or crying. I wasn’t showing any emotion at all. She asked me how I was getting home. I said I had driven. She offered me a taxi chit. I repeated that I was driving home. The coordinator came back with my stuff. I walked out with the transition person and we headed towards the elevator. I bumped into the IT guy. I stopped and shook his hand and said it was a pleasure working with him. He nodded.
I got on the elevator and pressed the button for the main floor. The transition person got in with me. We didn’t say a word. What can you say after you’ve been fired? There is no small talk to be made. As we walked off the elevator, she asked me where I was parked. I told her it was a block away. I looked at her and asked, “You’re not walking me to my car, right?”. She said she wasn’t. I turned and shook her hand and thanked her.
I walked through the doors of the building for the last time. The sun was shining and the air was crisp. It had turned into a nice fall/winter morning. I walked to my car, got in and sat for a while in the silence. I could hear the cars driving past. I thought back to when I got the job and the first day I started. I had vowed to myself that I would do everything possible to keep my job – no matter what. Fast forward eight months later and I was unemployed. I had failed. I took a deep breath and started the car.
Epilogue: It’s been a month since I lost my job. I had a good chuckle today. I was preparing for an interview and found my notes from the phone interview for the job I had lost. I had written down “negatives”. Written beside it was “He’s too busy and hoping splitting the role will help.” I guess I’ll never know because his coordinator quit right after I started and I never got to work in the structure that he had envisioned. I think history repeated itself.
Epilogue 2: It’s early June, 2020. I received a text from a friend that still works in the same office, letting me know that my ex-boss had just fired the person who replaced me. No warning – just gone. She was in the job 8 months – just like me. I had mixed feelings – sadness and disappointment. The sadness was for her. The disappointment was for an organization that doesn’t see that maybe the problem isn’t the people working for the boss but maybe, just maybe, it’s the boss himself.
Epilogue 3: It’s May 2021. I still keep tabs on my former job. I feel like a stalker. Another replacement was hired in September of 2020. I happened to check last week and she is no longer working there.
Diary of a DOW 