Gratitude

June 21, 2020 – I am grateful to two women – strangers – who lifted me up when I was low. Yesterday, I was feeling the weight of the world. I was weary. Being unemployed for 7 months was taking a toll on me. There didn’t seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

I had made an arrangement to speak to a credit counsellor about my consumer proposal. I’ve been worried about what happens if I don’t find a job before my EI runs out. I wouldn’t be able to continue making my payments. I had met with Casey as part of the consumer proposal process. She shared a little bit of her life story which included being homeless and having to file for bankruptcy. I was surprised that she would share those details but, to me, it made her seem more relatable. So I requested her when I wanted to talk to somebody about ‘worst case scenario’.

I opened our conversation by asking some general questions about budgeting – explained that I was having trouble managing all of my bills. Then I segued to my real questions – what happens when my EI runs out and I can’t make my payments? What were the ramifications of filing for bankruptcy? I told her that my financial planner had told me not to file for bankruptcy because anywhere that ran a credit check would see it on my file and not do business with me. So I wouldn’t be able to rent an apartment, buy a car, get a new cell phone, anything. So I’ve been using my savings to keep paying the proposal. However, with no job in sight and EI running out in September, I’m going to be screwed.

Casey quoted me some statistics about the number of people filing for bankruptcy (1 in 2) and that my credit score takes the same hit whether I file a consumer proposal or bankruptcy. She explained what would be involved in the bankruptcy and that I would probably end up paying per month (worked out to $400 less). Then she started to tell me that I had to think about me – put me first. Casey said the banks and my other creditors didn’t care. She said banks and creditors play a numbers game and keep advancing credit until you can no longer pay. She said they just keep increasing the credit limits so you have the illusion that you’re okay. We think that the bank wouldn’t keep increasing limits if we couldn’t pay but it’s just the opposite – they keep increasing the limits so you keep making larger payments until you can’t. She said that all of the creditors were still making huge profits. I was just a number to them and that the system was built to break me.

She told me to do what is best for me. She said there were plenty of landlords who would rent to me. She also said there was nothing wrong with changing to a bankruptcy. It’s just life. She told me to text her any time I had any questions. I know that they aren’t supposed to do that – I’m supposed to go through the office. I thanked her and, as I hung up the phone, finally felt a little weight being lifted.

The second person who lifted me up happened to be working the same shift as me at the call centre. I had worked with Maureen a few times but we were always busy – no time to chat. We had a lot of down time tonight. Not a lot of calls and plenty of time to chat. It was the basic questions – what do you do, etc. So I shared my story about not being able to find a job. Maureen, who is going through some coaching, explained the importance of changing my mind script. She said there are jobs out there – I just need to take some different approaches. She gave me some ideas – easy networking tips. She even mentioned somebody who she thought might be hiring. We talked about setting small, manageable goals. I thanked her. I told her that I felt like I got more from our little chat than the coach that had been paid for by my last company.

Two people – near strangers – showing true compassion and goodness. Helping somebody who needed to be lifted up.