September 27, 2020 – It’s late Sunday night and I have nothing to do. So, I decide to go through my junk folder – something I do when I’m bored. There’s a message from a class reunion website and it says that somebody from my class has messaged me. It includes a link to access the message. Immediately, I think “Whoah! Virus alert! I am not clicking on some random link.” I decide that a more prudent course of action would be to go to the website and see if there really is a message.
Naturally, I can’t remember my password – it has been more than 15 years since I had registered on the website in what I would only categorize as a moment of melancholy for the old high school days. So, I have to re-set the password. Finally, I’m able to log in – only to find out that I can’t view the message because I had chosen the “free registration” option. So, I have to upgrade for $6. I’d have to see if it was money well spent.
I finally get to open the message. It’s short. “I saw this and thought of you and that time we studied late at the library. Hope you’re well.” I will never know what the “this” is because there wasn’t an attachment or a link. As for the rest of the message, it brought back a flood of memories – all good.
Some background for you…. I was a nerd in high school. I was extremely shy, a little overweight, and wore glasses. I didn’t date because my parents were so strict. I just went through those years hoping I would graduate and, maybe, get a life. I met him in my last year of high school. He was a year older than me. He was repeating the year – can’t remember why. He was a bit of a rebel but not rebellious to the point where you would call him a bad boy. He was extremely funny and he was also a talented writer. I remember him writing a satirical punk rock song for the school talent show. It was called, “Torture Me”. The opening lines were “I want you to hurt me. Break my arms wrap them around me.” I remember it being hilarious. Odd that I can remember them…..
So, it would have been natural for me to have been at a library to study or do some research. I remember a group of us had been at the downtown/main library but I didn’t finish my research. I can’t remember what I was researching or why I didn’t get it finished. He suggested we should go to the university library because it was open 24 hours. I don’t remember how we got there. I think I must have gone home, he and his dad picked me up and his dad drove us to the library. I’m not sure how long we were there. I just remember it was dark and pretty late when we decided to head home. I remember we decided to walk. I don’t remember why – was it because we didn’t see any busses coming or because busses didn’t run to the university on the weekend? This was in the pre-historic times – before cell phones – I’m not sure why we didn’t use a payphone in the library to call somebody or, at least, stop at the first payphone we saw along our walk home.
I think we walked for a couple of hours. We ended up stopping at a McDonalds and calling my parents to come pick us up. They were curious and a little pissed. I don’t remember if the ride home was quiet or if they tried to chat him up to see what he was all about. I remember dropping him off (he lived the next street over from me) and we headed home.
I just checked and it looks like we had walked about 4km. I remember walking and talking and laughing. I don’t remember what we talked about. I remember having a genuinely good time really getting to know this person.
Nothing ever came after that night. It was almost like we had this moment, albeit a long one, and then nothing. We went about our school days like nothing happened. I remember thinking/hoping that he might ask me out. I never thought to ask him. I remember he was a little upset when he wrote a small skit for the school Christmas talent show and I said I couldn’t be in it. He wanted me to be one of Santa’s sexy reindeer. Again, chubby nerd with glasses, wouldn’t look sexy wearing a black leotard; especially when the other reindeers were all slim and pretty. He said “I guess I was just smiling at the wrong person.” I didn’t explain why. He didn’t ask. That was it.
So, I’m kind of surprised to see a note – almost 40 years later – asking if I remember that night. I’m going to respond. I have to tell him that I remember it – not why we had to go – but the long walk home, etc. I’ll add a couple of lines about how things are now. I’ll suggest he should drop me a note sometime and give him my email address.
Epilogue: I checked the website a few times during the past week. No response back. I also checked my junk folder in case he sent me an email. I had hoped to see something but am now thinking it was just another random moment.
Diary of a DOW 