January 15, 2021 – I was in the elevator heading to the parking garage when the elevator stopped and a person got on. We had quite a few floors to go. The other passenger asked me how my week went. I replied, “I think it went okay but I’m glad it’s Friday. How was your week?” He replied, “Glad it’s over.” He paused for a moment and then he said, “Some people are calling January the 13th month of 2020.” I said, ‘Yah, I can see that. A lot of people are stressed.” He nodded. We arrived at his floor. He turned to me and said, “Have a great weekend.” I replied, “You too.” And, with that, he stepped out of the elevator.
It’s the middle of January but it feels like I’ve lived, and experienced, a whole year in these past two weeks. Everyone I’ve talked to has the same feelings of stress and anxiety. I’m not sure why. We greet every new year as an opportunity to start fresh. We say good-bye to the crap and turn to 2021 with a hope that it’s all behind us. I remember the old adage “New Year – new you” and I’ve always wanted to believe that. But this year it has been different. We couldn’t just leave everything behind us this year. The pandemic, political unrest south of the border (and some here too), family matters, worries about how I’m going to make it to retirement. The list goes on. So that stopped me, and probably a lot of others, from mentally starting a new year as a “new you”.
I greeted the new year with optimism, positivity, and, yes, gratitude. It took a couple of days for the shiny optimism to start to tarnish. By mid-week of the second week. I was in a rut that felt deeper than any rut I had been in in 2020.
On my drive home, I stopped at the post office to pick up my vision board poster. When I walked into the apartment, I dropped the package on the couch – leaving it until later. I went about my routine, wiping down the door and keys, dropping my used mask on top of the washer, emptying my lunch bag, and placing the re-usable containers into the dishwasher. I checked on Mom to see how she was doing and what she wanted for dinner. After a brief chat, I went into the bedroom and changed out of my work clothes. I walked back into the living room and saw the poster. I picked it up and returned to my bedroom – planning on getting it out of the way. I’d deal with it later. I sat down on the bed; holding the poster in my hands. Was that man right? Was it really the 13th month? Would I ever say good-bye to 2020 and all of the negativity I felt? I sat there, listening to the noise of the traffic from outside. I removed the poster from the package and looked at what I wanted to accomplish in 2021. Was it realistic? Was it do-able? I decided that I would say good-bye to the 13th month of 2020 and say hello to the first month of 2021. I walked into my closet and pinned the poster to the wall. I read my affirmations aloud. I nodded and walked out of the closet, ready to put my best self forward.
Diary of a DOW 