January 18, 2021 – Last week wasn’t a good week. It was definitely one where it felt like I was in a hole and I wasn’t going to be able to climb out of it. That was where I was going to stay. The chat on the elevator helped me realize that I wasn’t alone in that feeling. That one chat stayed with me all weekend. It reminded me that I could choose how I went through 2021. I could continue to wallow in misery or I could “get on with it”.
I’ve been looking at my vision board poster twice a day; sometimes more if I’m in my closet. I particularly focus on the wording that my future self will thank me. Everything that is on that vision board is for today but also foundational for tomorrow.
I want to get on track mentally, financially, and physically. I definitely don’t want to be in the same place 5 years from now when I retire. I want to be able to say “bah bye work” when I turn 65. Sure, I have to plan now so that I have enough money to survive. I want to have my debts cleared before I turn 65. I’ve continued the part-time job and I have to be more responsible with what I’m earning. I need to make sure that I’m not pissing that money away and not “working for nothing”.
I have to work for the future so that my future self will be okay. Nobody else is going to make sure I have a roof over my head or food on my table. Gone are the days when I could count on my husband (now ex) to help shoulder the financial burden. I have no safety net – except me. My past decisions put a lot of holes in the safety net but the decisions I make now, and in the future, will help mend those holes and ensure that I’m okay when I retire.
Granted, this would be a lot simpler if I just won the lottery. But I also can’t count on that. Time to put the big girl panties on and make sure I stay focused. The future me will thank me.
Diary of a DOW 