August 15, 2021 – I was chatting with somebody on Thursday and commented that my adventures with my my co-worker, Ella, were definitely blog-worthy. It was then that I realized that I hadn’t written ANYTHING for over 4 months!
The issues with Ella started back in April (see “The Bowl”) have been ongoing for four months. I took to journaling about the issues as a way to retain my sanity and to keep track of some of the crap that I had to cope with. However, even reading it now, just brings me right back to relive those moments and depresses the hell out of me.
Ella is a passive-aggressive bully. She had worked in the same area for over 12 years. She had a very defined idea of what was right and wrong. As a colleague put it, “She’s hard.” I had heard that a few people had tried to call her out on her behaviour. However, in the end, she twisted the events or got aggressive or resorted to tears as defense mechanisms. I had heard that a couple of former supervisors had tried to have conversations with her about her behaviour only to be called out by their managers for being bullies. The conversations started out with, “I tried but…” I had heard that the person I was filling in for had also complained. Nothing was ever done. So, she has continued on this way.
She has some great qualities. I know she has a good heart and will go to the end of the earth to defend the defenseless. It actually makes me a little sad to realize that she has been ‘written off’ and everyone has given up on her. Most people say, “That’s Ella” and “It is what it is”. I like to think she can be helped with patience and the right coach.
However, things escalated to the point where I filed a formal complaint. Her actions and behaviours were not only affecting me, they were also affecting the people I worked for. I will, at some point, pour through the notes and blog a bit about what had transpired. Suffice to say, I realized that, as much as I loved my job, the fact that my “roomie” didn’t see her behaviour as inappropriate and unprofessional led me to conclude that my only way to retain some sanity and not resort to stooping to her level was to move on.
The job search started in mid-June. The pickings were slim. The economy is still pretty bad here and then you add COVID into the mix. People are trying to hold on to jobs. I was very lucky. Yes, folks, I landed a permanent job! It took me 3 months. Normally it takes me a minimum of 6 months to find anything. But, let me tell you, not only did I have 1 job offer but I had 3! Yes, that’s right, I had 3 offers sitting on my desk.
I couldn’t get arrested a year ago. I was almost at the end of my unemployment benefits and was lucky enough to land a contract job. The most I could hope for was to hold onto it and, possibly, it would turn into a permanent job. And I was full of that hope until Ella moved into my area in April. Hopes of staying there permanently were soon surpassed by hopes that she would move somewhere else or leave. The saying “Misery loves company” does not come close to what I endured with my “roomie”.
So, in a way, I have Ella to thank for motivating me to move on. If she hadn’t been so difficult to be around, I’d still be sitting in my contract job, hoping that the person doesn’t come back, and trying to figure out how to keep swallowing words and feelings in an office environment that had become intolerable.
Diary of a DOW 